things i know because of katelyn

1. Louis XIV uses sexual slang so advanced that you can’t even find it in urbandictionary. Yet.
2. Some sorority girls at U.Va are a tad overweight. They compensate by spending extra hours in the tanning booth. The result is something referred to as a Fat-Tan.
3. Pesto is delicious.
4. Wheelchairs have four wheels, not two. Additionally, when the guy in Placebo says “think of me stuck in my chair that has four wheels” he isn’t merely reflecting on his cooped-up office life. He is reflecting on his life as a paraplegic.
5. Along those lines, “white lines that sped us up” from Bright Eyes’ Gold Mine Gutted are not the white lines marking the yards on a football field. Furthermore, making a nice clean cut “like a bag we buy and divvy up” is not talking about candy. To summarize, Marissa=naïve.
6. Christian kids are confused about what constitutes a fun time. Many think that group activities such as stealing stop signs are what should make them feel giddy.
7. Man-plaid is bad.
8. Any slide show of party pictures can be made an epic viewing experience if set to The Killers (feat. Lou Reed) – Tranquilize.
9. The coolness/mad street cred of any artist can be greatly increased by featuring any one of these three artists in a song: Lou Reed, Iggy Pop or David Bowie. (Also, take note of the omission of the Oxford Comma. Not that I give a fuck about it, or anything…)
10. The awkwardness level in a room can be dramatically increased by verbal recognition of the presence/absence of sexual tension.