Friday, January 30, 2015

a drive down route 50

Jake: That furniture store JUST opened and now they’re doing 70 percent off?

Me: Oh. It’s this song again.

Jake: Look. They even have the guy out there with a sign. If you need a guy out there with a sign, I don’t trust your business model.

Me: It makes me uncomfortable when she says she can show me incredible things.

Jake: Oh my god. They’re putting in another mattress store?

Me: You can read him like a magazine because that’s the only thing you know how to read.

Jake: There must be fifty mattress stores within a ten mile radius of our house. More than pho places.

Me: Make the bad guys good for a weekend? What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?

Jake: Buying a mattress is like buying a car. They list prices that are like four times what anyone would ever possibly pay so they can cross them out and lower them four times. They try to make you feel like you’re getting a good deal--but you know you’re not.

Me: Is that supposed to be attractive? A nightmare dressed like a daydream? If a girl I liked told me she was a nightmare dressed like a daydream, I’d run the other way.

Jake: How many times is that Indian place going to change its name?

Me: There. That’s the only line that I think rings true in the entire song. Boys only want love if it’s torture.

Jake: Have I ever told you about my unofficial ranking of local frozen yogurt places?

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