Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What is sexy arrogance, you ask?

Asking the definition of sexy arrogance is akin to asking the definition of liberty. Or ideology (wassup, Althusser, wassup.) There is no single definition for the abstract concept that is sexy arrogance, but I can provide you with several examples of what it is not. Sexy arrogance is not arriving to class early. Sexy arrogance is not having a “value system” (herego, sexy arrogance can not be found in the stall seat journal). Sexy arrogance can not be found in U.Va sweatshirts, but it sometimes can be found in U.Va hats when tattered, dirty, and worn haphazardly on a perfectly disheveled head.

Distinciones (throwing in Spanish terms out of the blue complies with S.A. standards, but never for more than four words at a time, and never anything too advanced. You don’t ever want to say chicharrones instead of pork rinds, for example.)

Getting expelled for school for misbehaving is not sexy arrogance. Well it is, but not if you’re going to say it like a friggin fifth grade teacher. Under these circumstances, you got the boot for missa behavin. Ya dig? Aight, moving on. Going to office hours to improve your grade is not, I repeat NOT sexy arrogance. Neither is laughing at your professor’s jokes. However, seeing the teacher for a little help outside of the classroom, well, we all know what that means, man. You’re a fuckin god (take notice, not capitalized).

Now, for things inherently sexually arrogant. As for names, they should rhyme with things that mean complete moral disarray or an Asian sense of inner peace, like wayward or Zen. This limits options, but it is really for the best. Destructive habits (when performed with an air of indifference) like smoking or drinking hard liquor before noon are sexy arrogance. Walking in to the first day of your foreign language class twenty minutes late, hungover and wearing sunglasses, is sexy arrogance. It may cause your teacher (of whatever gender) to fall slightly in love with you, which can potentially be used to your advantage, even though you could care less about how you do at anything.

Emo is never, ever, under any circumstances, sexy arrogance. Emo and sexy arrogance are each others’ antithesis. What is sexy arrogance is not ever emo and what is emo is not ever sexy arrogance. Never. Except maybe for Taking Back Sunday. Which leads me to pointing out the next pillar of S.A.: mind-changing. Flip-flopping, if you will. No. I know what you are thinking, and no. Politics is not sexy arrogance and never will be.

Someone kinda important once said that the medium is the message. Was it McLuhan? I’m not really sure because I am not afraid of Matthew Hughy. But as far as sexy arrogance media goes, I believe the only true sexy arrogance form of self-expression is writing hopelessly indifferent messages to ex-loves con llaves on leather interiors. Blogging is not sexy arrogance, but due to limited resources, I suppose it will do for now.


(Originally posted on Friday, February 22, 2008)

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