This blog is dedicated to the high school kids in Madison, NJ who live in the internet*

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I have, and what I lack. What I am and what I’m not. What I have done and what I have failed to do (shout out to JC). And I’ve come to a couple of conclusions. Now, I wouldn’t ordinarily do this here, but the Myspace generation does everything online. Including self-reflective rationalizations.

My wit may be lacking at times. I might not have the highest IQ, SAT score, GPA, or whichever totally bullshit numerical method you’d like to use to measure my worth. I may not work my hardest (or do I? It’s hard to tell when everyone around you sacrifices sleep, food, fun, and life in general To Be the Best They Can Be. I try to work hard, but I also try to stay alive, which is frowned upon around here.)

But I figured out why I’m going to make it—why I have to make it. And that’s because I’m fearless. If your GPA is so super-high that tons of societies send you letters to come join them, but you’re afraid of your own (purple?) shadow, then that 3.9 is no more than a number on a piece of paper. It’s a pretty number, don’t get me wrong. But as far as aesthetics go, 0.8 doesn’t look so bad, either. You know how they always say, “It’d be cool if I went to this thing, but I’d never be able to because [insert tragic shortcoming here]”? I don’t speak these sentences. Instead, I say, “It’d be cool if I went to this thing, so I guess I’ll go.” So while you’re at home making sure your numbers stay pretty on a piece of paper, I’m out conquering the world.

I’m not trying to be cocky, really. That was an apophasis.

A final thought (that came to me while completing an assignment for my favorite Media Studies TA): Brilliance without the ability to articulate these thoughts is like a thing that really needs something else in order to function—without that thing.

*especially the one who deviously told her webcam that her parents weren’t home so she was gonna GO CRAZY, and then proceeded to dance to jimmy eat world’s sweetness. Netsister, you are me, but on a five year delay. And boy, do you have a lot to look forward to. Now when I’m home alone…I dance to AFI.